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  • How Did I Get Here?
    • INTRODUCTION - The Family Tree
    • CHAPTER 1 - MY EARLY YEARS
    • CHAPTER 2 -SUMMERS IN NEW ENGLAND
    • CHAPTER 3 -THE SUMMER OF '63
    • CHAPTER 4 - MOVING
    • CHAPTER 5 - DOUGLASTON
    • CHAPTER 6 - COLLEGE
    • TO BE CONTINUED...
  • Why write The Chronicles of Judy - Introduction
    • The Satanic Seat
    • What About Weight?
    • Odd Occupations
    • Social in the South
    • A "Squaggle" of Squirels
    • Of Graduation and Greatness
    • Standing Up in a Stand Up
  • Why did I write "Travels with Rudolph?"
    • Prologue
  • Why do I like to cook?
    • The Lamentable Lasagna
    • Lasagna Recipe
    • The Terrible Turkey Trauma
    • Amma's Meatballs
    • The Custard Caper
  • Contact
  • What about the book?
THE CHRONICLES OF JUDY
Picture

A "SQUAGGLE" OF SQUIRRELS

 In my local paper this week, I read the following excerpt from the news in “Our Towns:”

“A 37-year-old man was arrested about 1:15 a.m. Saturday morning after crashing his car into a police car parked at a DUI checkpoint. He swerved around a sign that said, ‘Prepare to Stop. DUI and Driver’s License Checkpoint Ahead.’  The Police Department reported there were no injuries associated with the crash.”

WOW.
 
I don’t even know where to start with this one. Talk about really being screwed. It’s bad enough that he was drunk, but then to avoid hitting the sign   warning      him of the DUI checkpoint, he smashes right into the cops.
 
The good news is that his untimely crash had no injuries involved. Well, at least not physical injuries. I imagine that this guy will suffer from comments and jibes about this incident for the rest of his life.

Seeing that in the paper reminded me of several other funny-but-not-funny things I’ve seen from time-to-time, so I thought I would share a few with you: 

In a similar incident, a Taliban commander turned   himself    into a local Afghan police station and then wanted to claim the reward offered by the military to find him and bring him to justice. When our troops arrived to take custody of him, they brought the wanted poster to the prisoner and asked him the obvious: “Is this   you?”  To which   he   responded, “Yes. Can I have my reward now?”

I guess this was one guy who wanted to cash-and-carry and not wait around for the 27 virgins in the next world.
 
Then there’s this story:
Last fall, in a city just a little south of me, Carlsbad (home of Legoland), there appeared a larger-than-life fork at a … wait for it… “fork in the road.  ”  It seems a local artist thought it was a fun thing to do.

Unfortunately, the town fathers disagreed and removed it, citing it was a “code violation,”…so commiserating residents brought some of their own forks and taped them to a nearby sign. Someone actually put up a sign that read, “What the fork is wrong with it?”

This next one made me laugh out loud:
A typhoon wrecked a zoo in Tokyo, resulting in, among other things, the escape of 30 squirrels from their pen. Not to worry, the diligent zookeepers found all of them…and then some. They found 38. Not 30. They had three possible explanations for this:
First, they had miscounted, and they actually   had   38 squirrels and didn’t realize it, or second, they captured some free squirrels who unfortunately happened to befriend the escapees and were in the mix or third, the squirrels had pro-created rapidly, and  now babies were added to the “herd.”
 
 (Can you have a “herd” of squirrels? or is it a “pack?” or a “squaggle of squirrels” similar to a “gaggle of geese?”)
 
On that note, I will close this week’s blog and go off to run errands and hopefully not do something that will make   me  newsworthy in the process.
  • HOME
  • How Did I Get Here?
    • INTRODUCTION - The Family Tree
    • CHAPTER 1 - MY EARLY YEARS
    • CHAPTER 2 -SUMMERS IN NEW ENGLAND
    • CHAPTER 3 -THE SUMMER OF '63
    • CHAPTER 4 - MOVING
    • CHAPTER 5 - DOUGLASTON
    • CHAPTER 6 - COLLEGE
    • TO BE CONTINUED...
  • Why write The Chronicles of Judy - Introduction
    • The Satanic Seat
    • What About Weight?
    • Odd Occupations
    • Social in the South
    • A "Squaggle" of Squirels
    • Of Graduation and Greatness
    • Standing Up in a Stand Up
  • Why did I write "Travels with Rudolph?"
    • Prologue
  • Why do I like to cook?
    • The Lamentable Lasagna
    • Lasagna Recipe
    • The Terrible Turkey Trauma
    • Amma's Meatballs
    • The Custard Caper
  • Contact
  • What about the book?